My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize