Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
your room smells of hookers.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.