If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
