people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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