matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
