Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
