Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
