But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I will pee on everything he values.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
