I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
