i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
