i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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