Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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