I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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