real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
