is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
