I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
