I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
