Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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