Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
