4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
