just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
