Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We need to get me chipped asap
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize