so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Sext me about skeletons
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
