they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
