I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
