Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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