He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
