It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
In America we eat man semen.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
