dude i'm inner monologue high
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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