Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
