You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
