Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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