mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
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Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I need a beard to bite.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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