dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
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We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
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The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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