At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
