make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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