i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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