Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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