haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
