if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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