dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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