Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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