So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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