I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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