need another drink. this is the easiest way
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize