I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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