I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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