On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Semen is not good for contacts.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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