whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
