I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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