garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
