Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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