margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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