This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
