He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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