Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
