Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
