It's a beautiful day for a hangover
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Who died my cat blue again?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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