My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
