i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
