OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
