no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
