well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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