who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize