Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
